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I usually steer clear of personal posts on this blog. I've been neglecting writing for at least a month because of a lot of changes in my personal life so I might as well get back into the swing of blogging by writing about it for a change. If I only ever contribute one rant to this blog, I feel the time has finally come. (Sorry in advance but I really need to get this out or I'll suffer writer's block for quite a long time yet.)


I recently left my last post and started a new job at the beginning of January. Since beginning my new job I have had a kind of epiphany, like what happens when you finally realise what food has been giving you the runs on and off for three weeks in a row.

There are a lot of things that people don't tell you when you first start out in your professional career for fear of giving you over to the dole queue and a lifelong addiction to Jeremy Kyle and jogging bottoms. I am still trying to recall the conversation with my school and/or university advisor where I was informed that you need to actually be useless in order to get anywhere.

You see, when I was in school and university I knew that if I worked hard then I would be rewarded. Put in the effort and you will see results. Straightforward, right? Study and get good grades. Behave in class and receive praise and reward. Work hard with people and build lasting relationships. If you want to be a shitbag in the learning environment then fine, but you won't learn anything and where's the fun in being an idiot?

HOWEVER. Working for an employer in this annoying place called reality doesn't follow the rules you are taught for the first quarter of your life. Working hard, sweating blood, sweat and tears and generally doing the best you possibly can doesn't reap rewards.

In fact, it does the opposite. People take you for granted. You are almost wholly ignored. Yes. Indeed. I know. Well, I was shocked when I finally realised that possessing any kind of talent whatsoever or being in receipt of a hard-working attitude actually doesn't do much for you at all. Having these attributes tend to mean that you are instead shat on from a great height and left standing under the shitpipe without an umbrella.

There are two main kinds of people that tend to do well in the world of work. The first is the incompetent, crazy git and the second is the brown-nosing git. Both have masses of attention heaped on them until you're left looking at an enormous mound of nonsense upon which they stand at the peak, caressing their private parts and looking smug.

The incompetent, crazy git does well in work because people with talent and ability hold them up and allow them to mask their incompetence. Because they are also crazy (either in an all-out, belligerent way or a quiet, potentially stabby way) they are remembered by management and somehow end up climbing out of the way of the shitpipe.

The brown-nosing git just agrees with everything the management says. This means they too can avoid the endless stream of crap afforded by the shitpipe.

These are just some of my recent observations. I wonder if anyone else has noticed this? Anyway, my advice to people just starting out is to embrace mediocrity. It actually makes you a more successful person!


Right, rant over. I think I feel a bit better now. Back to what I normally write about...